Monday, April 9, 2012

Boobs With Benefits

Recently on the Revolting Blog, you may remember, we published a self-aware post regarding the traffic surge associated with pictures of scantily clad women.  To illustrate this point, we of course accompanied said piece with numerous pictures of scantily clad women.  This was a little more than 2 weeks ago and it has already gone on to become, by far, the most popular single post in this proud blog's history.  Mission accomplished, I guess.  Except that I feel cheap and slutty for what I have done.  Now, in order to restore my sense of rich, prudeness, I present to you more pictures of beautiful boobs...Except this time, I shall accompany these artful renderings of the fine female form with an impassioned call to action for environmentalists everywhere.  Lovers of chestiness and clean air unite! (Note: This should include the entire human population)

The significance of reducing our dependence on oil is three-fold: Environmental, Economic and
Political.  Of course, if we were to stop burning fossil fuels at the alarming rate of today,
we would begin to see a reverse in the accumulation of Greenhouse Gases in our atmosphere,
hence insuring that we all had cleaner air to breath, which in turn, would help reverse
the horrifying, exponential rise in cancer that has defined the past 40 years.

There is currently indisputable scientific evidence that global warming exists, pointing to the fact 
that anyone that denies humanity's impact on climate change is a complete and utter fool.  
Many of these morons do have one sound point, however, and that is the inherent hypocrisy 
of any so-called environmentalist in our society.  They preach of reducing carbon emissions 
while commuting everyday to work in a machine that operates solely off of the combustion of fossil fuel.  
In order to mitigate some degree of cognitive dissonance, perhaps some of them drive a Prius, 
or an electric car, using electricity that often comes from a coal-burning power plant.  
Instead of reducing their carbon footprint, they are merely displacing it.  Furthermore, 
plenty of these people that complain about the environmental perils of drilling for more oil, 
would also be among the hordes of consumers complaining the very second that gas prices escalate.   
The endemic hypocrisy of many contemporary environmentalists is very real and is often 
crippling to their own supposed causes.  Yet what they are clamoring for is not only noble, 
it is very truly the only way to guarantee the continued existence of humanity on this planet.  
So how we do proceed?

Well the answer is so mind-numbingly easy, you'd think that all of society was distracted by other things. Humanity needs it's very own New Deal: at the same time that we are suffering ecological calamities left and right, we are also plagued by a devastated economy, and an increasingly precarious geopolitical landscape.  Happily for us, we can solve ALL THREE in one fell swoop!

We need to make the profound shift to a solar-driven fleet of automobiles. The technology exists already, it's all a matter of overcoming the tremendous hurdles that preexisting industry
places in front of such meaningful change, because of the fear that they have for impacting
their own bottom line.  If our government were to mandate that by a certain date in the
not-so-distant-future, EVERY vehicle on the road must be all-electric, and that a
vast network of solar-charging stations must be set up in every city, on every street,
in every parking garage around the country, not only would we have the power to fuel all of
these next-generation driving machines, but we'd also put millions upon millions of people
to work installing this infrastructure.  Not to mention that we could then slowly remove
ourselves from the affairs of the Middle-East and sit back and watch an Arab Spring
of epic proportion ensue.  The only way to set this ball in motion is with tremendous coagulation of public support.  Once the idea becomes popular enough, not only does it force our government to act, but it might just spurn on the investment of the very same industries that currently fight such change tooth and nail.  Big Oil needs to see Big Profit in making the shift, otherwise they will never jump on board.  Yet there simply is NO REASON that the solar industry of tomorrow can't be every bit as profitable as the fossil fuel industry of today.

So the same broad, sweeping and historic legislation that would meaningfully affect the
very air that we breath, would at the same time put ALL OF AMERICA back to work,
while simultaneously ending the need for a War on Terror.  And in keeping
the climate cooler, you are helping to ensure more moments like the one depicted above.
It all makes sense, doesn't it?  Yet in suggesting such a colossal shift in government and
industry, you probably think I'm just some sort of big boob.

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