Boobs With Benefits

Recently on the Revolting Blog, you may remember, we published a self-aware post regarding the traffic surge associated with pictures of scantily clad women.  To illustrate this point, we of course accompanied said piece with numerous pictures of scantily clad women.  This was a little more than 2 weeks ago and it has already gone on to become, by far, the most popular single post in this proud blog's history.  Mission accomplished, I guess.  Except that I feel cheap and slutty for what I have done.  Now, in order to restore my sense of rich, prudeness, I present to you more pictures of beautiful boobs...Except this time, I shall accompany these artful renderings of the fine female form with an impassioned call to action for environmentalists everywhere.  Lovers of chestiness and clean air unite! (Note: This should include the entire human population)

The significance of reducing our dependence on oil is three-fold: Environmental, Economic and

Political.  Of course, if we were to stop burning fossil fuels at the alarming rate of today,

we would begin to see a reverse in the accumulation of Greenhouse Gases in our atmosphere,

hence insuring that we all had cleaner air to breath, which in turn, would help reverse

the horrifying, exponential rise in cancer that has defined the past 40 years.

There is currently indisputable scientific evidence that global warming exists, pointing to the fact 
that anyone that denies humanity's impact on climate change is a complete and utter fool.  
Many of these morons do have one sound point, however, and that is the inherent hypocrisy 
of any so-called environmentalist in our society.  They preach of reducing carbon emissions 
while commuting everyday to work in a machine that operates solely off of the combustion of fossil fuel.  
In order to mitigate some degree of cognitive dissonance, perhaps some of them drive a Prius, 
or an electric car, using electricity that often comes from a coal-burning power plant.  
Instead of reducing their carbon footprint, they are merely displacing it.  Furthermore, 
plenty of these people that complain about the environmental perils of drilling for more oil, 
would also be among the hordes of consumers complaining the very second that gas prices escalate.   
The endemic hypocrisy of many contemporary environmentalists is very real and is often 
crippling to their own supposed causes.  Yet what they are clamoring for is not only noble, 
it is very truly the only way to guarantee the continued existence of humanity on this planet.  
So how we do proceed?

Well the answer is so mind-numbingly easy, you'd think that all of society was distracted by other things. Humanity needs it's very own New Deal: at the same time that we are suffering ecological calamities left and right, we are also plagued by a devastated economy, and an increasingly precarious geopolitical landscape.  Happily for us, we can solve ALL THREE in one fell swoop!

We need to make the profound shift to a solar-driven fleet of automobiles. The technology exists already, it's all a matter of overcoming the tremendous hurdles that preexisting industry

places in front of such meaningful change, because of the fear that they have for impacting

their own bottom line.  If our government were to mandate that by a certain date in the

not-so-distant-future, EVERY vehicle on the road must be all-electric, and that a

vast network of solar-charging stations must be set up in every city, on every street,

in every parking garage around the country, not only would we have the power to fuel all of

these next-generation driving machines, but we'd also put millions upon millions of people

to work installing this infrastructure.  Not to mention that we could then slowly remove

ourselves from the affairs of the Middle-East and sit back and watch an Arab Spring

of epic proportion ensue.  The only way to set this ball in motion is with tremendous coagulation of public support.  Once the idea becomes popular enough, not only does it force our government to act, but it might just spurn on the investment of the very same industries that currently fight such change tooth and nail.  Big Oil needs to see Big Profit in making the shift, otherwise they will never jump on board.  Yet there simply is NO REASON that the solar industry of tomorrow can't be every bit as profitable as the fossil fuel industry of today.

So the same broad, sweeping and historic legislation that would meaningfully affect the

very air that we breath, would at the same time put ALL OF AMERICA back to work,

while simultaneously ending the need for a War on Terror.  And in keeping

the climate cooler, you are helping to ensure more moments like the one depicted above.

It all makes sense, doesn't it?  Yet in suggesting such a colossal shift in government and

industry, you probably think I'm just some sort of big boob.

People Like Boobs

Extensive research has proven that this particular blog--as well as every site on the internet--sees a dramatic surge in traffic whenever boobs are involved.  To accentuate my point, here are some boobs:

You can't argue with evidence like that...

**Ten Most Famous T*pless Scenes**

Great. Now that the self-important political rambling has concluded, we can move on to more pressing matters: boobs. Here at the Revolting Blog © we are quite dismissive of most things, but if there are two things that we whole-heartedly appreciate, they're boobs. And a third thing: lists. So, in the interest of saving time, we've combined these totally awesome aspects of internetting into one. Namely, a list of boobs--and more specifically, a list of the most famous boobs to ever bounce their way into mainstream Hollywood motion pictures. For those of you that think this is perverted, I have a few choice 'p' words of my own to spray your way, primarily: prude, puritanical, pious, pubic. The last one is only there for dramatic impact. But, in all seriousness, lighten up. We are about to take a purely innocent, non-erotic gander at the aesthetic wonder that is the female form, no disrespect intended...now let's look at 'em titties!!! (All photos have been censored to preserve a PG-13 rating, but if you promise you're over 18--click on the titular links...haha, titular)

10.) Ginger Knowles (Halle Berry) in Swordfish - 2001

Considering that this was one of the most laughably horrendous action films this side of Jean Claude Van-Damme's career, I'm assuming that the only reason you ever saw this movie was for the above scene. And sweet Jesus was it worth it. Bonus points awarded to Berry for making her first topless appearance in a film with such staggering artistic merit.

9.) Sil (Natasha Henstridge) in Species - 1995

This movie was incredibly influential on my adolescence. Because of this demented sci-fi action thriller, I still to this day have to assume that every impossibly gorgeous, blonde bombshell that comes up to me at a club demanding sex is probably some sort of blood-sucking, alien monster. Who knows how many genuine full-blooded human supermodels I've turned away in the process...

8.) Megan (Nicole Eggert) in Blown Away - 1993

Good God, there's not much I can say about this movie. But that's only because I've never bothered watching anything more than this one scene. So I can tell you that this movie involves a hot, naked chick getting railed by Corey Haim, if that helps push it up your Netflix queue. I'd say it's the highlight of Haim's tragically short career, but that would only be partially true. It's actually the highlight of Haim's tragically short life.

7.) Kelly Van Ryan (Denise Richards) in Wild Things - 1998

Another one with tremendous nostalgic value. Imagine if you were an impressionable, young child and you thought you had just rented Where the Wild Things Are but were then astonished to see a steamy lesbian makeout session between two of the hotter young actresses of their day--how fucking awesome would that be? For the sake of our future generations, I hope that mistake is being made right now. By the way, who invited you Johnny Drama Sr? You're totally killing my, umm buzz.

6.) Ethel Ann (Mischa Barton) in Closing the Ring - 2007

Mischa Barton's career never reached the lofty heights that some had imagined it would. And thank goodness for that--if she had become a successful starlet she'd never feel compelled to bare her perky breasts for the world to see in a shitty arthouse flick like the easily forgettable, Closing the Ring.

5.) Jessica King (Katie Holmes) in The Gift - 2000

Katie Holmes only went topless once--in a movie that probably was only seen accidentally in theaters, by movie-goers confused by the title into thinking they would be receiving some sort of prize upon entry. The real 'gift' came in the form of Katie's gorgeous, well-proportioned funbags, in a scene that either really pisses Tom Cruise off--or marks the only time he's ever seen his "wife's" exposed chest.

4.) Beth Wagner (Amy Smart) in Road Trip - 2000

This movie was a double-whammy for adolescent boys everywhere. Not only does it feature the asinine, fart-joke driven humor of Tom Green and Co.--perfectly suited to Middle-Schoolers everywhere--it also cuts right to the chase with an incredible strip-tease from buxom blonde Amy Smart, within the first 15 minutes of the film. No pesky fast-forwarding necessary.

3.) Jill St. Clair (Amanda Peet) in The Whole Nine Yards - 2000

Amanda Peet is one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood today and this incredibly awesome, totally unexpected scene helped prop-up her promising career. Brandishing a handgun while exposing her glorious nipples was enough to make Amanda Peet any redneck's non-Confederacy-related dream come true. Too bad for them she's Jewish.

2.) Diane Selwyn (Naomi Watts) and Rita (Laura Harring) in Mulholland Dr. - 2001

This brown-acid trip of a mindfuck that David Lynch questionably calls a 'movie' will always have a prominent place in my DVD collection simply because of the Oscar-worthy acting of Australian hottie Naomi Watts--just kidding...it's because of all the scorching-hot lesbian action. Duh.

1.) Linda Barrett (Phoebe Cates) in Fast Times at Ridgemont High - 1982

This is it! The ultimate male fantasy sequence and the exact moment when the sexual curiosities of an entire generation were awakened. It's impossible for me to think of the name "Phoebe Cates" without hearing that incredibly corny '80s electronica bleeping and blooping in the background of my brain as I envision that slow, majestic revelation of her perfectly-sculpted knockers. It is to my great advantage, or embarrassment, that the character having the fantasy shares my first name.

So what do you think? Is this list the tits, or what?